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Monday 12 October 2015

UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF AS A TEENAGER OR YOUNG ADULT




Who is a Teenager/Young Adult?
“A teen-ager is a ‘between ager’ - one who is between childhood and adulthood”. Teen-age is a transition between two worlds – the world of children and the world of adults.   James Dobson, an American Christian psychologist describes this period as a period of “turbulent voyage, where you leave the safe harbour of childhood to enter into the open sea of adulthood.”
The age range of teenagers/young adult covers between 11-22 years approximately
Stages of Teen-age Life:
Ideally the teen years ought to refer to ages thirteen to nineteen only.  But due to differences in individual growth and development, we cannot neatly compartmentalise it so.  Therefore we will be looking at the teen-age life in three stages, each with its own characteristics.
Stage 1
(11-14 years old) Homogenous Stage:  This is the stage where you find it easier relating to members of the same sex (gender) than the opposite sex.  These years mark the onset of puberty.  Gangs and cliques are formed at this point with strong loyalty to group values and norms. Sociologists tell us that this loyalty is very important for your development. The concept of a loyalty that you acquire during this time of life is of immense importance later in life.  At this stage, you (especially boys) tend to hero-worship those whom you admire
Stage 2
(15-16 years old) Transitional Stage: At this stage, your attention shifts to the opposite sex.  You want someone to share your fears, anxieties and problems with.  This makes you get close to the one that suddenly becomes your intimate friend.  Many will become very moody and sometimes want to stay alone because they find it difficult to cope with the very powerful sexual desires arising from these new intimacies.  Yet, there is a third stage.
Stage 3
(17-22 years old).  Heterosexual Stage: This is the peak of the teen-age era.  Here, your sexual curiosity and desire to be attracted to the opposite sex have become heightened.  Some fall quickly into promiscuous habits by experimenting the use of their vital organs.  As one boy said, “they begin to charge their batteries before they are ready for use.”
Stage 4
Some others may begin to flirt around boys or girls looking for qualities in a partner of the opposite sex.  By the age of 17 years, you may begin to think of critical life decisions like marriage.  Yet your life experiences may be limited. Hence the need for godly counsel and practice of Christian principles that will help you in your overall growth and development.

Growth and Development in Teens: Growth is a characteristic of living things. In humans its various aspects include physical, intellectual, social, spiritual/moral and emotional. Let us look at each aspect briefly.
Physical Growth: The teen or adolescent period is a time of rapid physical changes and growth in height.  Hairs begin to grow under your armpits and your pubic region.  Girls have their first experience of the “monthly circle” usually called menstruation.  Boys develop muscles, become stronger, and have deepened voices and larger or mature sexual organs.  The girls have their breasts develop.  These changes make the teen-ager more sexually aware.  There is interest in and infatuation for the opposite sex. Hence teenagers fall in and out of love often.  Many members of both sexes usually have problems with spots, pimples, and acne at this time.  Because your physical appearance means much to you now, you may sometimes feel inferior, ugly, unattractive, or even depressed.  Some may try to compensate for the feeling of insecurity or lack of self-esteem with a show of bravado, aggression or comic naughtiness (playing the clown).
Intellectual Growth: Here you begin to fully develop the ability to think in abstract terms and to tackle philosophical posers or questions. The emphasis on academic performance/excellence generates tension in most teenagers. In fact the fear of failure is often one great cause of failure in the adolescent.  Also, because you are in search of answers, your family, school system, church, T.V, radio or peer group influences your general thinking. It is therefore important that you mind what you watch, read or listen to.
Social Development:  We live in a society with other people around us; and sometimes we experience the pressure to conform to them.  This pressure is much stronger in the teen-age years than at any other time in our lives.  The reason is that in the teen-age years, we try to behave or act like the others in dressing, habits, speech or whatever is in vogue.  To be different then can mean unpopularity or even make us ashamed of ourselves. This is the cause of teen-age conformity or compromise. But, you must learn to be yourself, and firm in uprightness!
Spiritual/Moral Development: As a teen-ager who was created in God’s image, you can enjoy a relationship with God. This relationship makes you different from the animals and other creatures on earth. We learn very early in life about God, the Creator that we all have to relate with. Our knowledge of God and our duty to Him constitutes our spiritual development.  Our moral development is the ability to consider the immediate and long-term consequences of our actions as they affect others. The challenge we face in our spiritual and moral development is the need to make friends with people who share the same values with us and to have the courage to stand out different from wrong influences.

Coping with the Changes:
As we have seen, the changes in teenagers come with the urge for sexual stimulation or expression. Therefore the need to remain chaste, pure and undefiled in the flesh is very paramount for a Christian youth. How then can you cope with sexual pressures?
Hint:
Take time to meditate regularly on the word of God and always pray.
Keep your mind clean. 
Replace sexual thoughts with godly and pure thoughts.
Do not stay alone in seclusion with someone you are already becoming emotionally attached to.  It makes you vulnerable. It is easier to avoid sexual temptation than to resist it under intense pressure or burning passion.
Have a good friend of the same sex to always talk and pray with
Be quick to confess your sin and repent truly before God.  

Spiritual Foundation: You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s own image.  For every temptation that comes your way, God is able to provide you a way of escape.  Know therefore that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit.  Do not defile yourself in any circumstances  (Psa. 139:14; Gen. 1:27; 1 Cor. 10:13; 1 Cor. 3:16-17).

Culled from FCS Life skills Training Manual.
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