Who is a Teenager/Young Adult?
“A teen-ager is a ‘between ager’ - one who is
between childhood and adulthood”. Teen-age is a transition between two worlds –
the world of children and the world of adults.
James Dobson, an American Christian psychologist describes this period
as a period of “turbulent voyage, where you leave the safe harbour of childhood
to enter into the open sea of adulthood.”
The age range of teenagers/young adult covers
between 11-22 years approximately
Stages of Teen-age Life:
Ideally the teen years ought to refer to ages
thirteen to nineteen only. But due to
differences in individual growth and development, we cannot neatly
compartmentalise it so. Therefore we
will be looking at the teen-age life in three stages, each with its own
characteristics.
Stage 1
(11-14 years old) Homogenous
Stage: This is the stage where you find
it easier relating to members of the same sex (gender) than the opposite
sex. These years mark the onset of
puberty. Gangs and cliques are formed at
this point with strong loyalty to group values and norms. Sociologists tell us
that this loyalty is very important for your development. The concept of a
loyalty that you acquire during this time of life is of immense importance
later in life. At this stage, you
(especially boys) tend to hero-worship those whom you admire
Stage 2
(15-16 years old)
Transitional Stage: At this stage, your attention shifts to the opposite
sex. You want someone to share your
fears, anxieties and problems with. This
makes you get close to the one that suddenly becomes your intimate friend. Many will become very moody and sometimes
want to stay alone because they find it difficult to cope with the very
powerful sexual desires arising from these new intimacies. Yet, there is a third stage.
Stage 3
(17-22 years old). Heterosexual Stage: This is the peak of the
teen-age era. Here, your sexual
curiosity and desire to be attracted to the opposite sex have become
heightened. Some fall quickly into
promiscuous habits by experimenting the use of their vital organs. As one boy said, “they begin to charge their
batteries before they are ready for use.”
Stage 4
Some others may begin to
flirt around boys or girls looking for qualities in a partner of the opposite
sex. By the age of 17 years, you may
begin to think of critical life decisions like marriage. Yet your life experiences may be limited.
Hence the need for godly counsel and practice of Christian principles that will
help you in your overall growth and development.
Growth and Development in Teens: Growth is a characteristic
of living things. In humans its various aspects include physical, intellectual,
social, spiritual/moral and emotional. Let us look at each aspect briefly.
Physical Growth: The teen or adolescent
period is a time of rapid physical changes and growth in height. Hairs begin to grow under your armpits and
your pubic region. Girls have their
first experience of the “monthly circle” usually called menstruation. Boys develop muscles, become stronger, and
have deepened voices and larger or mature sexual organs. The girls have their breasts develop. These changes make the teen-ager more
sexually aware. There is interest in and
infatuation for the opposite sex. Hence teenagers fall in and out of love
often. Many members of both sexes
usually have problems with spots, pimples, and acne at this time. Because your physical appearance means much
to you now, you may sometimes feel inferior, ugly, unattractive, or even
depressed. Some may try to compensate
for the feeling of insecurity or lack of self-esteem with a show of bravado,
aggression or comic naughtiness (playing the clown).
Intellectual Growth: Here you begin to fully
develop the ability to think in abstract terms and to tackle philosophical
posers or questions. The emphasis on academic performance/excellence generates
tension in most teenagers. In fact the fear of failure is often one great cause
of failure in the adolescent. Also,
because you are in search of answers, your family, school system, church, T.V,
radio or peer group influences your general thinking. It is therefore important
that you mind what you watch, read or listen to.
Social Development: We live in a society with other people around
us; and sometimes we experience the pressure to conform to them. This pressure is much stronger in the
teen-age years than at any other time in our lives. The reason is that in the teen-age years, we
try to behave or act like the others in dressing, habits, speech or whatever is
in vogue. To be different then can mean
unpopularity or even make us ashamed of ourselves. This is the cause of
teen-age conformity or compromise. But, you must learn to be yourself, and firm
in uprightness!
Spiritual/Moral
Development:
As a teen-ager who was created in God’s image, you can enjoy a relationship
with God. This relationship makes you different from the animals and other
creatures on earth. We learn very early in life about God, the Creator that we
all have to relate with. Our knowledge of God and our duty to Him constitutes
our spiritual development. Our moral
development is the ability to consider the immediate and long-term consequences
of our actions as they affect others. The challenge we face in our spiritual
and moral development is the need to make friends with people who share the
same values with us and to have the courage to stand out different from wrong
influences.
Coping with the Changes:
As we have seen, the changes in teenagers come
with the urge for sexual stimulation or expression. Therefore the need to remain
chaste, pure and undefiled in the flesh is very paramount for a Christian
youth. How then can you cope with sexual pressures?
Hint:
Take time to meditate regularly on the word of
God and always pray.
Keep your mind clean.
Replace sexual thoughts with godly and pure
thoughts.
Do not stay alone in seclusion with someone you
are already becoming emotionally attached to.
It makes you vulnerable. It is easier to avoid sexual temptation than to
resist it under intense pressure or burning passion.
Have a good friend of the same sex to always
talk and pray with
Be quick to confess your sin and repent truly
before God.
Spiritual Foundation: You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s own image. For every temptation that comes your way, God
is able to provide you a way of escape.
Know therefore that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Do not defile yourself in any
circumstances (Psa. 139:14; Gen. 1:27; 1
Cor. 10:13; 1 Cor. 3:16-17).
Culled from FCS Life skills
Training Manual.
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